Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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