I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
