Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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