Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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