i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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