I want to make a zoo with you.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He felt like a one man threesome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
