i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
