she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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