omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
