i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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