he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
