when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
