Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
