the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize