I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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