i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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