Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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