His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
