I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
