You made me cry and you don't even care
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
