i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
