she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
two words...techno handjob
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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