would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
