? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
