There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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