If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
