I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
