THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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