he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
