Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
