Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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