i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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