he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
