I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
