yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
