she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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