That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
