wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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