Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize