kristin has been a bad kristin
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
