I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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