I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
