Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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