Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
