Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
