Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
