How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
