Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
