She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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