they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
