so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
