I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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