Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
