she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
