Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
