thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
