Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
