Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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