its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
